There's More to Life than Being Happy - Emily Esfahani

Like Emily Esfahani, I also used to think the whole purpose of life was to pursue happiness.

My initial pursuit of happiness had led me to search for the ideal job, the perfect companion, and the best house or condo. However, when I finally got all of that, I was still left feeling empty. What was I missing inside that I couldn't explain?

I turned to books and would spend countless nights reading books on how to become happier. These books ranged from topics on Psychology of Optimal Experience to books written by the Dalai Lama and even a book written by arguably the "happiest person in the world" in Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill. While I did learn a tremendous amount from reading these books, I didn't feel any happier than when I first began reading. How ironic. 

So what truly makes people happy then? 

It turns out that the data shows that chasing happiness can actually make people unhappy. The suicide rate has been rising around the world. Even though life is getting objectively better by every conceivable standard, more people feel hopeless, depressed and alone.

Sooner or later we all wonder, is this all there it is? According to research, what predicts this despair is not a lack of happiness. It's is a lack of having meaning in life.

What's the difference between being happy and having meaning in life?

1. Being happy often means being in a state of comfort and feeling at ease in the moment.

2. Meaning is deeper. Meaning gives a sense of belonging. You end up serving something beyond yourself. Seeking meaning is the more fulfilling path. It helps you become more resilient and do better at school/work and has shown that you can even live longer. 

Q: What is the power of having meaning?
A: When life is really good and really bad having meaning gives you something to hold on to. 

How can we live more meaningfully? 

Here are the four pillars to a meaningful life that Emily Esfahani had described in her TED talk (linked at the end of this post)

1) Belonging - Being in a relationship where you are valued for who you are intrinsically and where you value others as well can create a sense of belonging. If you are valued for who you hate and what you believe those do not create a true sense of belonging. True belonging springs from love. You can choose to cultivate love. Lead with love and you'll create a bond. 

2) Purpose - Finding your purpose is not the same thing as finding the job. It is about less what you want, and more about what you want to give. The key to purpose is using your strength to serve others. That's how we contribute and feel needed.

3)  Transcendence - These are the rare moments where you are lifted above the sense of self and you feel connected to a higher reality. It happens through being at church and sometimes you feel in the zone. Again it's less about you and more about others.

4) Storytelling - Creating a narrative from your events of life helps you create meaning. You can edit and interpret your story. You can reflect on your life and what you lost and what you've gained. You won't change your story overnight. Embracing your painful memories and defining the good that sustains you.

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Book Review - Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike

About Phil Knight

Phil Knight is best known for being the co-founder and former CEO of Nike, multinational corporation that is engaged in the design, development, manufacturing and worldwide marketing and sales of footwear, apparel, equipment, accessories and services. Phil is a philanthropist giving away millions each year to support health care, higher education, and other causes, primarily in his home state of Oregon. He also the author of Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike.

Overview and Thoughts about the Book

In Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike, Phil Knight takes the reader on a front seat ride through his journey from borrowing $50 from his father to start a shoe company to creating one of the most profitable retail brands in the world. As many others have said before, including Warren Buffet in his 2016 Berkshire Hathaway shareholder letter, "Phil is a very wise, intelligent and competitive fellow who is also a gifted storyteller."

In a time where Adidas and Puma dominated the shoe market, Phil Knight and his business partner and coach Bill Bowerman overcame tremendous odds to create a company to compete on the same level. Phil takes us through with tremendous detail his business negotiations with not only the Japanese manufacturers, but his bankers, employees, how he met his wife, and even chalks up a couple life lessons he's learned along the way.

“What if there were a way, without being an athlete, to feel what athletes feel? To play all the time, instead of working? Or else to enjoy work so much it becomes essentially the same thing.” —Phil Knight

He reveals his secrets of how he become a successful entrepreneur. In the early days while working on Blue Ribbon, Phil juggled working firstly with Price Waterhouse, and then Coopers & Lybrand. Then became an accounting professor at Portland State University (PSU). The reason he did so was so that he could stay on his feet or in effect somewhat hedge his bet against his business, while growing his business at the same time. But, he quickly quit both to focus on shoes.

As someone who has been more curious about how businesses thrive and build competitive advantages, Phil offers enormous insight using Nike as somewhat of a case study. He had a great business partner in Bill Bowerman who was constantly inventing and improving shoes for his Olympic athletes. In addition, his extreme passion for sports and shoes helped him get through the ups and downs. By combining constant innovation from feedback from athletes on the highest levels, athletic endorsements, and shrewd manufacturing tactics, Nike became what it is now today.

Final Word

While Shoe Dog is largely a book about Phil Knight and Blue Ribbon becoming Nike, towards the end of the book Phil parts with some encouraging life lessons over his seventy plus years. For those that are less business oriented, these alone are noteworthy tidbits. He like many other successful individuals highly recommend that men and women in their mid-twenties not settle for a job or a career. Instead, find a calling. The fatigue and disappointments in life will be easier managed and your highs will be much more gratifying. Overall, this is an entertaining and contains a lot of useful business lessons.

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Big Game Hunting - Networking with Billionaires, Executives and Celebrities - Book Review

About Christopher Kai

Christopher Kai is the founder and CEO of KGL, a strategic-consulting firm that helps entrepreneurs build their businesses. He is an international speaker and bestselling author. Christopher is also the founder of Mondays at the Mission, the only homeless youth program of its kind at the largest private shelter in the United States. Their 240 program speakers from 26 states and 28 countries (Elon Musk, Moby, and TED speaker Diana Nyad) have been featured on CNN, People, ABC, Time, the Ellen Degeneres Show and Oprah. Christopher has been featured on ABC, Fast Company, Inc. Magazine, Buzz Feed, and Huffington Post.

Overview and Thoughts about the Book

In Big Game Hunting - Networking with Billionaires, Executives and Celebrities, Christopher Kai shares his in-depth knowledge of how he went from growing up in a middle class home in Woodside, Queens to rubbing elbows with Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Paris Hilton, and many other "Big Gamers".

I first discovered Christopher Kai when he spoke at Google on how to "Catapult Your Career Opportunities". One of the biggest key points he brought up was networking. ABC News Reported in 2012, 80% of people's jobs come from networking.

A friend of mine quit his accountant job in 2012 and started his own e-commerce business. After four years of ups and downs he decided to get back into the accounting industry. How was someone out of the industry for almost half a decade supposed to find a job? Employers questioned his outdated knowledge, qualifications, and feared he would only stay short-term and leave to start another company. Luckily he still maintained his network of people in the industry. Through his relationships, he had a signed job offer letter within a week.

Most people think of networking from a quantity perspective. The more events you attend the more people you meet. The problem with that is, if you attend the same events you are going to meet the same people. Right from the get go of his book, Kai introduces a huge piece of advice on how to meet "Big Gamers" and focus on the quality of relationships. If you want to meet comic book fanatics, you attend to Comic Con. If want to meet people in the electronics and tech space, you attend CES. What if you want to meet "Big Gamers"? Where would you go? How do you approach them? What do you say to them? What do you do after the event?

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” —Michelangelo, Italian painter and sculptor

Finding where to meet who you want to meet is only part of the battle. Kai goes through a simple four step process of preparation, what to do before the event, during the event, and action items for after the event. The biggest thing he brings to the table is the fact that he's been through it before, so he is able to relate to the reader much more easier. It is one thing for someone to talk about how to meet "Big Gamers", but never having done so and another thing to have someone who has been in our shoes before providing insight and steps. 

While most networking books are rather bland or wordy, Kai uses relevant personal stories and experiences to illustrate his points. For example, he describes how he reached out to Elon Musk and was able to get Elon to come and speak at Kai's homeless youth program. He also provides stories from others who have used similar techniques to meet "Big Gamers". 

Final Word

Let's say you don't want to meet "Big Gamers". If you want to start a business or meet an executive in your field, advice from Kai's book, Big Game Hunting - Networking with Billionaires, Executives and Celebrities, can be used to meet just about anyone you want to meet. Kai's life experiences on networking is boiled down to a concise yet comprehensive 100 pages. He is an amazing speaker and motivator. So much so, that he has inspired myself to aim higher than what I believe I could achieve. 

Life is about living it. Living it means aiming higher and realizing your fullest potential. You can't always do this by yourself. But if you find a mentor or someone to help you along the way, you'll give yourself a good chance to reach your fullest potential. Build your network. 

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Choose to Celebrate Life

Unfortunate is Scott Hamilton being diagnosed with his third brain tumor. Can you imagine yourself going through that not just physically, but also mentally? Remarkable is Scott Hamilton, a retired American figure skater and Olympic gold medalist, overcoming testicular cancer in 1997 and two other brain tumors in 2004 and 2010. 

How is it that someone like Scott is able to overcome these life threatening illnesses and continue to be so resilient? All the while he maintains such an overwhelmingly strong positive attitude. 

I complain about how I have to cook my own food when I get back from a long day at work or how I have to take my car to get an oil change. These issues are so minuscule in comparison to what Scott has to deal with on a day to day basis. I can't imagine how Scott is able to have that mental strength to fight through all that comes with being diagnosed with so many life threatening illnesses over and over again. 

How does he do it? 

The first thing is you need is to be in the right mindset. Scott looks at everything he and his family does as a celebration of life. In life there will be challenges you face and some are going to be more difficult than others. There will be things that you wished didn't happen, but you have little or no control over. You will make mistakes along the way. The key to all of this is how do you react? How do you get up? Scott Hamilton says, "The more times you get up, the stronger you are to face the next thing, which will happen — because that’s life."

Understand what you are dealing with. The more educated you are about the situation, your options, and how other have dealt with the same or similar issue the better you are equipped to make a decision. 

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Arnold Van Den Berg - Exponential Wisdom - Google Talk Summary

Arnold founded Century Management in 1974. He is the CEO and chairman of the CM Advisors Family of Funds Board of Trustees. Born in 1939, Arnold survived the Holocaust as one of Holland’s “hidden” Jewish children. His parents both survived Auschwitz and the family immigrated to America when he was 10. These struggles led him to an extensive study of the subconscious mind, which he believes is the key to unlocking an individual’s potential.

Arnold Van Den Berg's parents hid for two and a half years in an attic during the Holocaust. However, they developed one major problem. The problem was that they kept two small children. Arnold was two and a half years old and his brother was five and a half. It was difficult hiding with children. If Arnold's parents kept the children and were caught they would be sent to Auschwitz concentration camp, which they eventually were. At Auschwitz, they didn't keep women and children. It was a big risk if the children were caught with the parents because it usually meant the end of the parents.

Another alternative was to send the children through the German lines to get on a train to an orphanage. The only problem was you needed a German passport. But if you were Jewish you didn't have a passport. They had fake passports, but they weren't very good so it was sort of a last resort. Arnold's parents got with the Dutch underground and they worked out a plan that there would be a 19 year old girl who would bring him on the train and there would be an individual situated in front the Nazi to keep the officer busy until the whistle blew. So, that was exactly what happened. It was just the most dramatic moment when the whistle blew because the girl knew she would be okay. 

"The most important thing to achieve anything in life is to be totally focused."

Years later, Arnold would ask himself why would this girl who didn't even know him risk her life to save his. How could the girl's whole family risk their lives? If caught, the 19 year old girl would have had to spend her entire life in an concentration camp. What would motivate her to do this? Later in life, he found his way to a psychiatrist. He decided to ask the psychiatrist why anyone would do that. The psychiatrist said, well the answer is very simple.

It's all about principals; these were people who had deep beliefs and their principals were more important than life. If your life is more important than your principals then you sacrifice your principals. 

Arnold Van Den Berg eventually found his way to mutual funds. He was curious about why during the stock market crash in the early 1970s, some funds went down less than others. Eventually, he discovered that the funds that were down less were doing better because they focused on value investing. The secret to understanding value investing is figuring out what a business is worth just like when you buy real estate. Then you basically buy that at a "wholesale" or discounted price.

The most important thing to achieve anything in life is to be totally focused. Arnold Van Den Berg's father explained the most difficult thing in an concentration camp was when they had to go on these death marches from one camp to another. It was a 20 mile walk and you would get two slices of bread and then you would march for 24 hours. If you went on your knees, the Nazi officers would whip you and if you didn't get up then they would shoot you. His father was 5'7 and 85 pounds - all skin and bones. You really have to focus to get through all of that.

What Arnold's dad learned was how incredibly powerful the mind was when you are tested in extreme circumstances. When your life is on the line, you have to clear your mind. You couldn't think about how cold or hungry you were. You can think of nothing else but to move forward and to keep your focus. You'll realize you have strength that you don't even understand. When asked what his father could attribute that to, he said the subconscious mind. There is no way you can keep moving one leg after the other in that type of situation without extreme focus.

Five Lessons from Arnold Van Den Berg 

1. Always seek the truth

2. Develop your own set of principles for which you are willing to make sacrifices

3. Be totally focused

4. By practicing your principals you will develop the faith and courage to carry on during tough times

5. Never give up 

What do you do with your cash when you don't have any good value stock options? 

Over the 40 years, Arnold's average cash position was 20% of his portfolio even when there was good value because there are great opportunities. Even if cash doesn't make money, it's better to hold cash then to lose money. Patience pays off. You will always find value if you are patient. You might have to wait a year and a half or two years.

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Best Way to Improve Your Memory in Under Five Minutes

Have you ever wondered how someone is able to memorize a shuffled deck of cards in less than 20 seconds? Chester Santos is a memory expert and best known for winning the 2008 USA memory championship. Recently he spoke at Google to share his tricks and tips on how to memorize names with faces and recall an exorbitant amount of words in a short amount of time.

Last Friday, you and your friend may have meet a new person at a party. Two weeks later, one of you is describing to you the person the both of you met, but neither of you can recall the person's name. Does that happen to you often?

It is much more difficult to memorize a person's name then it is to recall how a person looks. The reason is because humans have naturally evolved to recall pictures better than words. When you first meet someone attempt to involve more of your senses.

For example, you just met Blake and she has gorgeous blue eyes and brown hair. In your mind, over exaggerate those features and create an mental picture of her. Maybe in your mind you see her with cartoonish large blue bead-like eyes. Maybe she was wearing perfume that night. Encode in your brain the floral scent. When you shake her hand, remember what that feels like. Alright, I think this might start to get a bit creepy. But the whole idea is really to engage all of your senses and use your imagination to exaggerate the situation.

We remember unique and unusual occurrences in life more easily than the standard routine. For example, if all of a sudden an elephant dropped in to the seat right next to you from the sky, you would probably remember that for the rest of your life without even trying. 

Let's try a memory exercise called the story method. By the end of this exercise, you will have been able to recall perfectly the following list of words in the same order as listed: monkey, iron, rope, kite, house, paper, shoe, worm, envelope, pencil, river, rock tree, cheese, and quarter. No joke!

Really see and experience this happening in your mind. If you come at this exercise with your open imagination, you'll be able to commit the list of words into your memory a lot easier.

See a monkey in your mind and this monkey is dancing around and making it's noises. The monkey now picks up a giant iron. The iron starts to fall, but a rope attaches itself to the iron. Maybe you feel the rope it feels sort of rough. You look up the rope and you see the other end of the rope is attached to a kite. The kite is flying around and you reach up but it is out of reach. This kite crashes to the side of the house. Really see it smash into the house. This house is completely covered in paper. A shoe appears out of nowhere and it starts to walk all over the house. The shoe smells pretty badly and you look inside the shoe and see a worm crawling around. The worm jumps out of the shoe and then jumps into an envelope. A pencil starts to write all over the envelope. The pencil jumps into a river and there's a huge splash for some reason. The river is crashing up against a rock. The rock flies out of the river and smashes into a tree. For some reason the tree is growing cheese. Each piece of cheese shoots out a quarter.

Now try and recall the list of words. Much easier isn't it?

Three tips on how to recall anything quicker and more accurately

1) Engage all of your additional senses including touch, feel, smell, see, and hear.
2) Use your imagination to exaggerate the mental picture
3) Create an unusual and interesting story with the words you are trying to recall

Use your imagination to help you remember better.

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How Do You Tell Better Stories or Become a Better Storyteller Tips from Carmine Gallo

How did Google Start?

Google's roots sprouted from two Ph.D. students working on a research project back in 1996. It's initial aim was to license its search technology to other Internet companies and enterprise and not to make money off ads. After a few years had passed, the founders of Google quickly discovered they needed more cash to grow. It's early efforts to raise capital drew them to Sequoia Capital a venture capital fund. 

This happened in 1999 during a time where the dot-com boom had spawned a boatload of new business ideas that the world had not seen before. Michael Moritz of Sequoia Capital had seen his fair share of structured and bland PowerPoint presentations. Focusing on predicting what new concepts or technologies would catch on was hard enough, but the added agony of trying to sit through PowerPoint presentations just worsened the investing situation. 

What Sergey Brin and Larry Page brought to the table was a breath of fresh air. They came into the meeting with Moritz with a working search engine superior to anything that was out there. Instead of a PowerPoint presentation, they presented a story with a solution. Needless to say, this kicked off a $25 million round of venture capital funding.

Benefits of Becoming a Better Storyteller

Being able to tell a story can make the difference between landing that job or losing the trust of your coworkers. It isn't enough to have the facts on your side, you have to do the storytelling. How do you become a better storyteller? Let's take a step back and think about why certain lines from songs and speeches stick with you even many years after. Do you remember the first four words of Martin Luther King's famous speech? The reason you do is because we are wired in our brains to want to process in story mode. Ideas that catch on are those that are wrapped in a story. 

Everyone likes to hear stories about people who overcome struggle, especially those that "shoot for the moon". For example, Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks, often tells his rags to riches story as he watched throughout his childhood as his father struggled to make ends meet to support his family. Stories that show where you've faced an intense struggle and come out better are inspiring. 

For all of you chemist or biologist out there, did you know that storytelling actually triggers the same parts of the brain between the listener and the storyteller. So you actually do sync up emotionally through brain chemistry. A compelling story with an emotional trigger alters our brain chemistry and makes us more understanding and trusting. Now that I think about it, this might explain why my mother enjoys listening to my long and drawn out work stories once a week.

Everyone knows the best grapes come from vines in the steep hillsides because they are "stressed" and that build character.

Three Main Parts of a Great Story (Not Beginning, Middle and End)

In the movie the Martian, the set up is the backdrop whereby Matt Damon and his team embark on a exploration journey to Mars. Once you set the stage and background of your story, you'll need conflict. After a huge sandstorm, Matt Damon wakes up to find that his team have left on Mars en route to Earth. He has limited resources and supplies that were not meant to last for long periods of time on Mars. Psychologically, we can only imagine how it must have felt to be trapped on a planet by yourself. Finally, in every great story there is a resolution. Matt Damon figures out how to make water from hydrazine, communicates with his team back home, and is able to plant potatoes as a result of all of this. You'll have to watch the Martian or read the book to find out what happens at the end. 

Great storytellers are made and not born. You have to believe your own story. If you don't believe your own story, how can you expect to inspire others to believe it? Here are four tips to becoming a great storyteller. 

1) Practice your story. Great storytellers on TED have practiced their stories over 200 times.

2) Provide details and illustrate your story as best you can. Illuminating your story helps it become more memorable versus strictly providing facts. 

3) Appeal to the emotions of your audience. 

4) Remember good storytellers instill hope. 

Elon Musk has become are great storyteller. In his recent presentation at Tesla of the Powerwall, which is essentially a battery, he showed slides of pollution. In the next slide, he showed the picture of the sun. Using simple language and pictures, he indirectly conveyed to his audience the solution of harnessing the sun to lessen pollution. In doing so, he offered a solution to a problem via his Powerwall or in other words he provided conflict and resolution.

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Laura Heck: Relationships 101: "The Science of Great Relationships" Summary

Dr. John Gottman’s studied couples in normal environments whereby he would have each couple wear monitors and also code their facial expressions based on the couples interactions. Through his years of research, he was able to determine there were certain behaviors are distinctive in divorced couples. He repeated similar studies seven times with different populations. Based on certain identifiable behaviors, Gottman was able to predict the couples that would end up in divorce with 90% accuracy.

Four patterns "horsemen" that are destructive to relationships

Complain vs. Criticize - Your wife or husband throws all of his or her clothes on the floor and at the end of the week, there is a huge pile. Instead of saying, "you are such a slob, you treat this home like a frat house." Try complaining without blaming. For example, say "I'm not so hot on all these clothes being on the floor, I would really appreciate if you picked up your clothes." The idea is to use a gentle build up versus immediately criticizing your partner.

Defensiveness vs. Taking Responsibility - Defensiveness is warding of a perceived attack and can often be seen as counterattacking. If your partner is a master criticizer then you want to ward off that attack in a more diffusing manner versus attacking back. An example of attacking back, could be "well I didn't see that, but did you see the mess you made over there?". One way of responding in a more diffusing manner is by taking responsibility. For example, if your partner says you are such a slob, you could respond saying, "yes you are right those clothes have been on the floor and I haven't picked them up yet". You don't have to take the blame, you just have to take part of the responsibility.

Contempt vs. Describe Your Own Feelings and Needs- This is the most potent of the four "horsemen" and typically comes later in the relationship. When you truly believe you are better than your partner, it can comes across as really hurtful to your partner. In fact, it chips away at the immune system. Instead scan the environment and find what your partner is doing right. What is it that you truly appreciate in your partner. My partner may not be the best in this, but he or she is great at this.

Stonewalling vs. Do Physiological Self-Soothing  - When your partner starts to escalate a situation and you stop paying attention to your partner you are stonewalling. Do physiological self-soothing by emotionally and cognitively disengaging. You might say, I can't have the conversation right now and go take a break. Reconvene at a later time when both of you are ready to speak.

Additional Relationship Principals

Love map principal - In order to have a strong relationship, you need to have a strong friendship foundation. You have to know everything about them. When you start to fall in love with someone, you might ask a bunch of questions to get to know them. For example, "what color do you like?" or "what are your goals?" Twenty-five years passes by and your partner changes, but you don't ask the same questions. Love maps is the idea that you have a map of the partner's internal map. Ask your partner open ended questions to learn more about them.

Nurturing the fondness and admiration - Focus on the positives of what your partner is doing versus the negatives. This is even applicable to those that you manage at a work place. If you are rewarding people you manage, they are more able to do those things correctly. Set an alarm everyday and send a text to your partner for example, "Thank you so much for.." or "I'm so appreciative for.."

Turning toward small things often - Doing small things consistently versus one-time splurges. Turning toward means your partner is looking for acknowledgement. If you are faced down on a phone or computer, you'll miss out on the cues from your partner. You can either turn towards your partner as a positive response, you can turn away and ignore, or lash back at them. Every time you turn towards your partner with a positive response, you are putting a deposit in much like a bank account. So, when there is a huge fight, you have enough buffer and don't over-withdrawal.

Letting your partner influence you - When your partner wants to pursue a goal or adventure, your first response is "whatever you want let's make it happen". Oftentimes, what actually happens is that you become a roadblock. The key is being able to negotiate and understanding why it is so important versus immediately saying no. When men were saying no and weren't even willing to negotiate, 81% of the time couples end up divorcing.

You can have solvable problems and perpetual problems. Solvable problems include "how are we going to use tax refund?" or "whose house are we going to for memorial day?" Oftentimes they tend to be short term in nature.

Perpetual problems are issues that are based more on values. If I am an introvert and my partner is an extrovert that is a perpetual problem. But it is not solvable, it is more about understanding your partner and finding common ground. Another perpetual problem is where one partner is frugal and the other is a big spender. If that is the case and both are looking to purchase a car, write down one or two core attributes you can not be flexible on. For example, it is important to me that we only buy a car with cash.

"You always and you never" are the worst way to bring an issue up. However, you can make a repair attempt. A repair attempt is anything that you do to derailed and change the conversation. For example, you might say "I apologize that is not what I meant to say, or it came out incorrectly". Alternatively you can be silly and lick your partner on his or her cheek. The key is that if you have a strong enough friendship, your partner will accept your "repair attempt".

Create meaning in a relationship by moving from I to we. Creating rituals allows for a meaningful relationship. For example, one husband every evening when the kids went to bed would put a tea kettle and when the tea kettle was ready, his wife and him would massage each other's feet and drink tea. It is the time when both of them can connect. Another way of creating meaning in a relationship is by working on common goals. John likes to say he isn't willing to go anywhere without room service, but his wife Julie wants to hike. John is hiking now.

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Larry Ellison USC Commencement Speech 2016 - Summary

Larry Ellison talks about how growing up his family expected Larry to become a doctor. But he dropped out of school. Then he drove from New York to California to discover himself. There he worked as a river guide and a rock climbing instructor. While he enjoyed those jobs, they didn't pay much. So, he also worked part-time as a computer programmer. Later, his wife divorced him because she thought he lacked of ambition. Needless to say, this was a turning point in his life.

He couldn't find a software engineering job that he loved as much as he loved sailing, so he tried to create one. That way he could completely control his work environment and hire smart programmers to work on interesting projects. Larry wanted to create the perfect job for himself.

Larry Ellison won the America's Cup yacht race three years ago.

What one idea led began the growth of Oracle? The idea was to build the first relational database.

In the 1970s, while computer experts believed that relational databases could be built; most experts never thought that there would be a fast enough computer to run it. A relational database is one which the users directly state what information they want from a database and the database will answer the queries and store the data in such a way that makes it accessible. We take all of this for granted nowadays.

When people start telling you all the experts are wrong, they first they call you arrogant. Then they say you are crazy. Remember this: when people start telling you that you are crazy, you just may be on to the most important innovation in your life. 

"Steve said, "I'm not doing this for the money. I don't want to get paid. If I do this, I need to do this standing on the moral high ground."

Eventually, Oracle became a company that nobody could control due to its rapid growth. He was constantly learning new things on the job. Remember, that he had set out to create an ideal job. Now it became like navigating a sailboat through a hurricane.

Larry Ellison had a great friendship with Steve Jobs. Back in mid-1995 and Steve was running Pixar and running NeXT. At the time Apple was not doing well and people believed that it would go under. One day, Larry and Steve discussed how to save Apple computer.

Larry suggested that Steve and Larry buy Apple and then make Steve Jobs CEO. Larry already arranged to borrow the money of $5 billion. Steve just had to say yes. Steve however proposed that they persuade Apple to buy NeXT and then Steve would join the board. Over time, they would figure out that Steve would be the right guy to run Apple. Larry said, "but Steve, if we don't buy Apple, how would we make any money?”

Steve replied, "Larry, this is why it is so important I am your friend. You don't need any more money."

Larry said, "Yeah I know. But, we could give it all away."

Steve said, "I'm not doing this for the money. I don't want to get paid. If I do this, I need to do this standing on the moral high ground."

Larry said, "Steve you created Apple, it is your company and it's your call". Larry went on the Apple board and then he watched Steve build the most valuable company on earth.

The lesson here is clear. Steve was right. After a certain point it can't be about the money. You can't spend it. It is impossible. In the end, the only practical thing to do is to give it all away.

Why did Steve do what he did? Why does Larry do what he does?

Deep inside of all of us there is a primal desire to do something important in our lives. Freud said there are two things important in life, love and work. He didn't say that love and work was the same thing. Larry is passionate about work. But, passion and love are different things. He loves his family, the Sierra Mountains, and the ocean. The feelings he has about work are different. It's not just a job it is an adventure. It is interesting, challenging, and an all-consuming adventure.

Discover who you are, not what others expect you to be. Find a job that interests you, challenges you and gives you and sense of purpose or a level of satisfaction. If you don't find that, keep looking. Maybe you will find work that you love.

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Power of Humor - Find the Lighter Side in Life

Last May, three of my college friends and I embarked on a journey to the downunder to find our Australian accented soulmates or our Jayesslees. Don't tell me their accents are not attractive. While the four of us were good friends, this would be the first international trip where we would be together for an extended period of time. The most time we've spent together as a group prior might have been four hours max, when we played Taboo or Settlers of Catan into the wee night after a long day frolicking in the rain. Spending time with each other once a month is much different than seeing someone's fact every minute of the day for ten days non-stop. Now I don't mean we are literally staring right in each other's faces for ten days straight, thought that would be quite hilarious. This trip to Australia would inevitably be the first real test of our friendships. If we don't pass, we would all de-friend each other on Facebook.

To cut to the chase, the trip had its ups and downs. We had an open unplanned Sunday morning. One of my friends was adamant about visiting a swap meet. While we all agreed, we did not have any information as to whether or not there was a swap meet nearby or at all. Without any swap meet details, the group largely dismissed her request. All the while, she had gotten ready to leave the hotel to go to a swap meet. You can imagine how confused the group was when she asked everyone why nobody looked up a nearby swap meet. Well heck, if you want to go to a swap meet and nobody else was dying to go, take initiative and find one yourself! We are all adults here. Eventually, one of us in the group found a swap meet and managed to make a great experience out of it all. 

"Humor leads to laughter, which releases endorphin that allow us to endure and triumph over pain. Recent studies have showed that laughter increases creatively, improves health, and strengthens relationships."

While there were may other conflicts and trivial issues such as the swap meet incident, most of us remember the humorous events. For example, my friend running across the beach and then slipping and almost falling on his face. The time when my friend and I acted like monkeys trying to climb up a coconut tree just because we wanted the satisfaction of picking our own coconuts.Though we failed miserably. Also, the time when we ended up sharing a laugh with an expat who had adopted the Australian accent just two weeks in to her stay. How is all of this relevant? We tend to be drawn towards more of the humors events than the serious and unpleasantries in life.

Professor Jennifer Aaker of Stanford Business School shared some insightful finds on the power of humor. Humor leads to laughter, which releases endorphin that allow us to endure and triumph over pain. Recent studies have showed that laughter increases creatively, improves health, and strengthens relationships. 

Psychologists Alice Isen and her colleagues asked participants to solve a classic candle task whereby they were given a box of matches, a box with tacks and a candle. Can they attach the candle on to a nearby wall without letting the candle when lit to drip to the table below. She and her colleagues broke the participants into two groups. One group watched a short humorous video and the other a neutral video. You may be able to guess what the results were. Those who watched the humorous video prior to working on the candle task were more likely to solve the candle task then those who watched the neutral video. The solution to the candle task is taking the box and tacking it on the wall. Then putting the candle in the box and finally lighting the candle. 

In another study, a group of participants who were shown clips from a stressful movie such as Saving Private Ryan and two days later they were shown clips from a humor movie called KingPin. Blood flow was measured prior to the viewing of the clips and afterwards. Guess what? Blood flow increased by 20% after watching clips from KingPin! 

Humor helps strengthen relationships. In a recent study, couples were asked to reminisce about times where they've shared memories and then times when they've laughed together. Couple who recall laughing together were more fond of each other. 

There you have it, laugh, laugh and laugh some more. Find the humorous side of life. You'll be able to improve your health, become stronger mentally, and build stronger relationships. 

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Carol Dweck: "The Growth Mindset" Concept Review

Carol S. Dweck is the Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. She graduated from Barnard College in 1967 and earned a Ph.D. from Yale University in 1972. She is known for her research in social and developmental psychology.

Dweck recently published the Mindset: The New Psychology of Success and has since sold over a million copies. In the book she discusses the idea of the mindset being a contributing factor in fulfilling one's potential in parenting, business, school, and relationships.

Why do some people wilt in the face of danger, while others who are no more talented thrive in challenges? How are people motivated to learn? These are some of the many questions that Dweck answers in her book.

In the Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dweck argues that there are two mindsets of which are the "Fixed" and "Growth" mindsets. Generally speaking, those who believe talents and abilities can be developed are in the growth mindset, versus those who believe talent is natural born are in the fixed.

However, you can have a fixed mindset in one area and a growth mindset in another. For example, suppose you are great with Microsoft excel and are willing to take on any new challenges associated with it. When you see someone else who is better, instead of feeling jealous, you want them to teach you their skills. That is an example of a growth mindset. On the other hand, suppose you are asked to create a flowchart of your business' processes using Microsoft Visio. You are not particular great with it and are not willing to learn to become better using it. That is an example of a fixed mindset in a different area.

Add the word "yet" to your fixed mindset statement. If you say that you are not "yet" at a certain level, that implies that you can develop and get better. For example, "I am still not able to generate enough passive income to support myself, yet".

When you tell someone he or she is smart and what he or she has done seems effortless, you are in fact communicating another subtle message to the recipient. He or she will start to believe that if it takes effort then he or she won't look smart. Thereby, they start to focus only on what they are good at and instead of challenging themselves and developing their intelligence. Having a growth mindset will allow you to take on challenges and more importantly stick with them.

In growth mindset companies, management values creativity, innovation, and teamwork. Employees in such companies believe that they could develop their skills and thereby felt empowered and more committed to the organization. On the contrary, fixed mindset companies looked to hire talent, but did not believe that those talented individuals they hired had potential to rise and join management. Employees in those companies felt that they had one foot out the door and would leave at anytime if another company offered to pay them more.

How do you ensure that you think in a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset? 

Being in a growth mindset is not just being open minded, it is developing oneself through a life long journey taking on challenges and learning from them. Focus on the process, show interest, ask questions, and most importantly stick with it. When faced with something safe versus a challenge, choose the challenge. When you hit a challenge, ask yourself how can you learn from this and what can you do better the next time. A growth mindset is not a destination, it is a process and a journey.

When is a fixed mindset better than a growth mindset? 

Accepting your sexual orientation and aging. These are two things that you can not change and is arguably biological (one more than the other). Thinking and believing you will get younger as time passes, is not realistic and quite frankly not possible at this point.

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What Makes A Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Happiness Study - Summary

The Harvard study of adult development began in 1938 and tracked two groups of men totaling 724 for 75 years. One group included sophomores from Harvard who ended up serving in WWII shortly after graduating. Another group consisted of Boston boys in the poorest and most disadvantaged areas. Taking populations from two differing spectrum of privilege helps to control the effects that has on living a good and long life. Over the course of 75 years, many of the individuals in the study became lawyers, factory workers, bricklayers, doctors and one was President of the United States. Not only did the Harvard study interview these individuals in their very own living rooms, but they drew blood samples, scanned brains, and talked to their parents.

What are the most important life goals? Of the recently surveyed millennials, 80% said that becoming rich was an important goal. In that same population, 50% believed it was important to become famous. We are constantly being reinforced by society to work hard and achieve greater to have a good life. But, is that truly what will give you a good life?

The Harvard study generated tens of thousands of pages of research. The lessons learned were not about wealth, fame, or working harder. In the 75 year old study, it is good relationships that keep us healthier.

1) Social connections are good for us and loneliness is not. Those who are more socially connected to family, community, and friends are physically healthier. People who are more isolated find that they are less happy and health decline earlier.

2) It is the quality of the relationships and not quantity that is important. Turns out that those living in conflict without much affection are worse off then getting divorced. People in good warm relationships stayed happier even when they experienced more physical pain.

3) Good relationships protect your brains as well. Those in securely attached relationship with people you could count on stay sharper longer. Relationships don't need to be smooth sailing all the time, as long as they felt that they could count on each other, that's what matters.

This is not rocket science or anything novel. So then why do we ignore this? We are humans and human nature is wanting quick fixes. Relationships are hard work, not glamours, and is an on-going life journey. People who fared the best over their lives are also those who leaned into relationships with family, friends and community.

The good life is built with good relationships. 

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Three Ways to Increase Mental Energy Throughout the Day

Ever wonder why at the end of each work day you feel drained? At same time you might be wondering how you could be so tired when all you've done is merely sit in front of a computer screen the entire day. It is not like you were out in the field running around; why do you feel so out of it? The answer to all of this has to do with negative and positive ions.

While you might think positive ion are good, it is quite the contrary. Your body’s cells naturally contain a negative charge. Throughout the day your body literally pulls in positive charges; as a magnet would. Hence the phrase, "like a magnet, opposites attract". What are some things that emit positive ions? Dusts, microbes, and bacteria often carry positive charges. Computers, TVs, microwaves, even vacuum cleaners often create positive ions.

"Your body’s cells naturally contain a negative charge."

Often wonder why it is that when you head to the beach and whether it be basking in the sun or enjoying the ocean waves you feel refreshed or renewed? Negative ions occur more often in nature and they are often created by things like lightening storms, sunlight, waterfalls, and ocean waves. This is one of the reasons people often report feeling renewed or refreshed after a storm or at the beach.

Three things you can do to decrease positive ions or increase negative ions.

1) Use a natural Himalayan lamp salt crystal.

These salt crystals release negative ions into the air and create a ionizer purifying the surrounding air. As an added bonus, the amber color creates a calm and soothing feeling. The way it works is that the light within the lamp generates a small amount of heat that evaporates the water surrounding it. Salt attracts water to its surface. When the water around it evaporates, negative ions are created.

An increase in negative ions increases flow of oxygen to the brain resulting in higher alertness and more mental energy.

2)  Use the best and most commonly used ionizer air purifier.

Ionizier air purifiers are great for removing airbourne pollutants that generate positive ions. At the same time it will remove unpleasant odors and freshen the air around you. The purifier above has an added UVGI technology feature that kills germs, viruses, and bacterias.

3) Turn off and unplug your electronic devices before you go to bed.

We all know that you can not wait for your sea salt crystal or air ionizer to come in the mail, so in the meantime we recommend that you turn off all electronic devices before you go to bed.

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Scott Adam's Template for Success - How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big Summary

Scott has failed 36 times. All failures have something to teach you. 10% of the things he's tried has worked out really well. Most of the things he tried were high risk/high reward kind of things, so he expected a high failure rate. However, one thing that did work out for him was the Dilbert comic.

His book 'How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of my Life' focuses on three core ideas.

1) Goals are for losers - Use Systems
2) Passion is overrated - Get Energy
3) Luck can be manipulated  - Change the Game

In today's complicated world, having a goal is sort of like being on a horse with a bow and arrow shooting a target in the fog and at the same time the target is moving. Sometimes you'll hit the target. But, in this complicated world, the odds are not that good that you would hit the target. When you focused on a goal, you limit yourself. Maybe there are things that you you'll miss by focusing on that goal. Instead Scott Adams suggest that you create a system. A system is something you do regularly that improves your odds and makes you more valuable. Thereby, in the long run the odds of success will be in your favor.

What is a System vs. a Goal?

Scott Adams gave an example of himself and his friend Manuel. Both of them liked girls. Adam's approach was goal oriented. He would find one girl that he was interested in and then try and figure out how to bump into her and what to say to her. Most times he would get rejected and that would be that. Manuel had a systems' approach, he would ask everyone in the room if they wanted to be his girlfriend. Every time he went through his process, he was learning to take rejection and what the best pick-up lines were. Manuel was becoming more valuable as he went no matter what happened.

A friend of Scott's would interview for jobs that he didn't want. Basically jobs that would pay less than he was making now and/or be in lower positions. His friend used it as practice and every time he would improve as an interviewer. At the end of one of the interview, the interviewer said that his friend was overqualified for the job, but the head of the department just left that role would be great for him.

Complementary skills improve your odds of success. You don't have to be the worlds best, you just need to have a working facility of it. For example, Scott was a mediocre artist, not even the funniest person in any given room, not a great writer; but when you combine the skills together, he created the Dilbert empire.

What is the difference between the diet goal and a system? Suppose the goal is to lose ten pounds. Resist the cookie will be difficult. In a system, you could replace willpower with something such as knowledge. For example, most people know that vegetables are more healthy then cake. Now suppose you go to a salad bar and see pasta and white potato; which one would you choose to be healthier. Pasta is healthier and knowledge would let you know that is what you should pick. Learning over time which type of flavoring to make your food taste better is better than resisting foods. Eventually the flavoring and seasoning of your healthy foods will be up to the level or near that of bad foods.

Replace willpower with habits. Habits can be built by doing something on a daily basis every day and giving yourself a reward at the end. If you can't do a full workout, underdo it and do half that way it always feels good and it builds a habit. 

Get energy instead of being "passionate".

If successful people didn't attribute their success to passion, what else could they say about having passion? "I'm smarter than poor people." "I did some insider trader that how I got started." "I was lucky". There isn't a good answer. The winner of American Idols all have passion. Well, have you not seen entire stadiums of people in the first couple weeks? It looked like everyone was passionate. If you go by the numbers, passion is more correlated with failure than success. In the formula for success, if you pick out passion, everything would be the same. Instead of passion, boast your energy and systems. Be physically and mentally alert to power through things you need to. You also end up liking or "having passion" for things that you are good at. In order to be good at things, you'll need to practice and put in the work. 

Luck is the elephant in the room. 

Luck can be manipulated. Getting lucky is like being struck by lighting. You can increase the odds by being outdoors in the rainstorm. In addition, you could hold a lighting rods. You can't directly control luck, but you can move to game of bad odds to better odds. People who considered themselves lucky or were more positive had a wider field of perception. They would note opportunities that other people wouldn't see. 

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Book Review - Getting There: A Book Of Mentors

About Gillian Zoe Segal, Author of Getting There: A Book Of Mentors

Gillian Zoe Segal is the author of New York Characters, a tribute to New Yorkers, and Getting There: A Book of Mentors. Her work has received numerous mentions by publications such as Forbes, CNBC, MSNBC, and Business Insider. Gillian is also a freelance photographer specializing in portraits. She graduated from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Arts and received a law degree from Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, Yeshiva University.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between successful and unsuccessful people? While Gillian has been successful in life thus far, her search to inspire and provide guidance to her daughter and others led her to share Getting There: A Book of Mentors. Smooth waters never made a skilled sailor. At some point in life, everyone will encounter rough waters. Gillian sat down with each of these thirty mentors to understand their highs and lows. She got as personal as she they would let her get. It's never too late to improve, try something new, find a great role model, and discover something about yourself!

"The road to get there is almost guaranteed to be arduous, but if you love what you do, you'll thrive on the inevitable challenges and have stamina to achieve your potential." 

What is great about the book?

Despite having a background in law and photography, Gillian's Getting There: A Book of Mentors has gathered not only the experiences of a successful lawyer, but experiences of people from various backgrounds. Of which include investor Warren Buffet, Spanx inventor Sara Blakely, Craigslist founder Craig Newmark, and even Mad Men Creator Matthew Weiner.

While it is great reading about the stories of successful people and immersing ourselves in their journey from the beginning, most readers want to know how they can benefit from such experiences. Gillian does a great job pointing out key turning points in each mentor's story. For example, Warren Buffet had a fear of public speaking in college. What he did to overcome this fear was he signed up for the Dale Carnegie public-speaking course. Here Warren identified a fear of his and understood that he couldn't go through life not knowing how to speak in front of people. What can we as readers take from this? If there is a weakness within ourselves that is holding us back, we can look to see what can be done to turn that weakness into a strength. Whether that be finding a course to take or seeking advice from those who have gone through a similar desired transformation.

At the end of each mentor's section, the author highlights key "pearls" or takeaways from the stories. For example, with Warren, he emphasized the importance of reputation and also experiences that may seem to be disastrous at first actually work out for the best. A good example of this was his rejection from Harvard, which eventually lead him to Benjamin Graham in Columbia whereby he learned the fundamentals of investing. For Anderson Cooper, the famous journalist, the way to find your bliss is a three step process. First you figure out gets your adrenalin pumping, next figure out a way to make it a career, and third outwork everyone around you.

"When you're much more interested in what you're doing than going out for a drink with friends, you've found your bliss." - Anderson Cooper

Each of these successful individuals have something you can incorporate in your life or change for the better. If anything, they would reiterate what you might already be doing. One of the most important things, I've gathered from these stories is to keep an open mind so you will be able to take opportunities when they arise and to really follow what you are passionate about. That of course is much easier said than done. Where in society we are pressured to meet other people's expectations, we lose sight of what is truly important in our lives.

Here is a key excerpt from Tom Scott's (Nantucket Nectars Co-Founder) section:

"Over the next two years, six of my friends joined in, and we dramatically expanded the scope of the business. Our slogan was “Ain’t nothing these boys won’t do.” One friend, Tom First, and I shared the same playful personality. One night he blended up a peach juice based on his memory of something he’d tasted in Spain. Within about seventeen seconds, we thought, This is what we have to sell off the boat! It happened that fast. We came up with the name Nantucket Nectars and spent the entire winter testing all sorts of fruity concoctions. We were obsessed."

What is the not so great about it?

Usually, with most books, we can find a couple things that aren't so great about it. In Gillian's Getting There: A Book of Mentors, the only thing I can find that isn't great about it is that the stories were not long enough! As I was just starting to immerse myself in one of the mentor's stories, I found myself towards the end of it! While this is most probably done by design to keep the reader engaged, for those who can really relate to one mentor or another, it would be best to seek out a biography afterwards.

Sometimes, it can become difficult to relate to those outside of our industries, regardless in this increasingly globalized world we live in today, learning about other people's specializations does open your eyes to new and varied experiences. Gillian does a great job showing that there are different ways to be successful and success comes from those with different personalities as well.

What is your final recommendation?

For those young professionals or those who have been working in their industries for many years, day in and day out all we see are those in our particular fields. As we get older, your circle of friends becomes smaller. While we do build strong bonds with our existing friends, we lose sight of what else is out there. Our imagination diminishes and we get sucked into our own little worlds. Gillian's book Getting There: A Book of Mentors is a great read and really lets you into the minds of successful people in various industries. As I was reading the book, it felt as if I was right there next to that person listening to their story. How rare is it that you are able to find a surfer, lawyer, investor, fitness instructor, journalist, all in one room? This is essentially it! All the stories from various background all in one book! You never have to leave the comforts of your own home, Gillian brought all of them to you.

Conclusion: Getting There: A Book of Mentors is a recommended read for those who seek to the wisdom of successful individuals. After all, all of us can use another mentor to help guide us in the right direction in life. 

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Be Happier and Make Decisions that are "Good Enough"

Suppose your laptop broke down or is showing signs of wear and tear. You finally decide to go shopping for a brand new laptop computer.

Good Enough - Satisficer

The satisficer says, "I just need one that will let me check my e-mail, run YouTube, be able to play movies, and of course is reasonably priced. It doesn't have to have the best processor or even have the biggest hard drive."

You go to the department store and check out four different laptops. Of course you try and figure out which one will suit your needs and is priced reasonably. You weed out the most expensive model because it has more gadgets than you really need. Since you plan on keeping your laptop for a while, you want something that is durable and not made cheaply. So, the least expensive laptop is out of the question. Now you have two to chose from. Just when you are about to pick one over the other, the sales associate comes over and introduces you to three more laptops. You feel like you've already made a decision on your laptop, so you stick with yours and head for the checkout line. All of this might have taken you thirty minutes tops. You understand that you might have not made the "best" choice, but it is one that is good enough for your needs. The extra time spent on trying to compare and contrast the other three laptops is not worth the effort for the incremental benefit. Now dust your hands off, you've just made yourself a decent purchase.

Best Option Ever - Maximixer

The maximizer says, "I want to find the best laptop for my money."

Despite your high expectations right off the bat, like the satisficer, you were able to weed out two of the laptops right off the bat. But, the moment the sales associate brings in those other three laptops, you begin to analyze those as well. One of the laptops is actually fairly similar to that of another. The only difference is one has a bigger hard drive, while the other one has a better graphics card. You do want to play games on this laptop, but you also value the extra storage for your movies and music. After thirty minutes of going back and forth, you finally make a reluctant decision to go with the one with extra storage. On the way back home, you question whether or not you truly made the best decision. While objectively you've considered more alternatives and weighed the pros and cons a whole lot better than the satisficer, you can't help but question if you made the best choice after all.

Most likely the maximizer ended up with the better laptop when compared to the price paid. However because of higher expectations, the maximizer feels as if he could have done better. It is nearly impossible to scrutinize every little detail and come out with the "best" choice. That task is further complicated when even more choices are added to the equation. As a result, maximizers will unequivocally feel unsatisfied and disappointed at the results.

Signs you are a maximizer include the following:

1) You are always on the look out for a better job, even if you are satisfied with your current.
2) You TV channel surf even when attempting to watch one TV show.
3) Renting videos are difficult because you always want to choose the best one.
4) No matter what you do, you hold myself to high standards.
5) You have trouble picking what to eat because you struggle to make the correct choice.

What is the morale of this story? If you want to be happy, be a satisficer. If you want to optimize be a maximizer.

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Three Simple Tips to Turn Money into Happiness

According to a study conducted by Princeton economist Angus Deaton and famed psychologist Daniel Kahneman, the magic salary number whereby additional amounts would have no measurable effect on day-to-day contentment is $75,000 a year. If you make more than that, you don't gain any more happiness than if you made $75,000. Now whether or not we choose to believe this is another story. How did we pinpoint this amount? Why not $70,020 or $80,500? In any event, what is more important is how we decide to spend the cash we make.

You can always earn more money, but can't buy more time.

Time is money and money is time. Isn't that how the saying goes? They say we trade time for money when we are young and when we get older, we trade money for time. On weekends, my friends and I will frequent nightclubs or bars. Now in Los Angeles and in New York, there usually is a line for the more popular clubs. Sometimes the line is an hour and a half long or sometimes it's 45 minutes. Regardless, in the interest of time, we usually slip the bouncer $20 per head to get in. The way you go about doing this is you go up to the bouncer and tell them you have a reservation. At the same time, slip him the cash. We figure, we make more than $20 bucks an hour, so skipping the line is worth more than $20. Remember we can always earn more money, but we can't turn back the clock.

Buy more experiences vs. material possessions.

This one is less intuitive then you would think. Suppose I gave you a hundred dollar bill, would you rather buy these bluetooth speakers you've been wanting for your Vegas room pre-game party or spend it on a day at Universal Studios with your buddies or girlfriend? Your friends of course would have to pay for themselves. At first we might be more inclined to go for the speakers because after we spend the day at Universal Studios, all we would have left is a bunch of pictures and nothing to take home. Whereas, if we bought the speakers, we'd have the speakers for as long as we decide to keep them.

Now the problem with going for the speakers is that we'll start to compare the speakers to what other people have. If theirs is better than ours, we start to feel bad about our purchase. With activities, it is much harder to compare our experience with that of others. The reason being we may be with different people when we go or perhaps you go for different occasions.

Learn to give away your money.

Professor Elizabeth Dunn at the University of British Columbia discovered that those who spent money on other people were happier than those who treated themselves. This was even in the case where people had very little for themselves. This is an interesting paradox because one would think that the more money you have the happier you would be. But that is not the case! This sheds new light on the saying, "It is better to give than to receive.".

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