3 Secrets to Finding Confidence Within Yourself

The Surprising Secret to Speaking with Confidence with Caroline Goyder

All of us have confidence within us. If we knew where to look, we can find confidence within us. In today's society, we spend a lot of time working on our outward appearances. But, I'll have you know that confidence doesn't exist outside.


Caroline Goyder is a public speaking coach and the author of Gravitas: Communicate with Confidence, Influence and Authority. Her work has been featured on BBC TV's The Speaker and The Voice, and BBC R 4's Word of Mouth, as well as in the FT, Telegraph, The Times, The Sunday Times and CNN.

Goyder presents three secrets to speaking with confidence. She draws from anecdotal stories and experiences of both actors and public speakers alike.

1)  Practice your voice by singing in the shower

The voice is the most amazing instrument. How often do you think about how yours works? Like a guitar the strings of the voice is your larynx, which is just underneath your vocal cords. The hitter is the air. If you know your voice is an instrument and those who are great at playing other instruments become good at through practice, all you have to do to be great with your voice is practice. The best way to practice is singing in the shower or in the car on the way to work.

2) Breathe slow and controlled using your diaphram

Who is the most confident person in the room? How can you tell? Think of when actors play kings in movies, how do they behave? When an actor is playing a king, the king stays still and other actors move around the king. The most powerful person in the room has the most relaxed breathing pattern.

The good news is that the unconscious system can be controlled through your breathing. What is within you is the key to a relaxed and confident path.Calming yourself down when standing in front of a crowd starts with focusing on the diaphram. This is the secret of what most actors and singers do.

Breathe using your diaphram. Place your thumb below your "bra strap" area of your chest. When you breathe in, push your thumb out with your diaphram. On the out breath, push your thumb in. If you put your hands on the side of your ribs you can also feel breathing. If you are ever nervous, do what we just explained.

3) Your last thoughts dictates your next speech 

When we breathe in, we breathe in thoughts. When we breath out, what comes out is speech or song. Try this, think of someone or something that excites you, then talk about that person or thing. Did you notice your voice of excitement? If your last thought is positive one, your speech will come out as positive as well.

Romans understood that we breathe in our thoughts. Just look at the words inspiration and the respiration as they both have the same root! "If you want confidence in speech all you have to do is know when to shut your mouth." Think confident, be positive, and exude energy.

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